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Are You Being STINGY With Your Compliments?



The other day I was at a cashier paying and I noticed that the young woman was not looking at me instead she was looking down. I thought it was odd and started feeling a bit insecure wondering what was causing her strange behavior. Then a little embarrassed she said, "I love your nails! After saying "Thank you" I smiled to myself all the way back to the car.


In a moment, I went from feeling uncomfortable to smiling and feeling good all because of a compliment. As it turns out compliments have power.

I don’t know about you, but when I need a boost I often remember a compliment someone gave me. Someone else’s words seem to have more power than my own positive banter. I’m incredibly grateful for those words.

When I started designing my line I always wore the item, be it a scarf, coat, or piece of jewelry out to see if people liked it. The test was simple; did it get compliments? If yes, I knew I had something, if not I had to go back to the drawing board. It works every time!

When I feel something complimentary about someone I don’t always express it. If it can make someone feel good I’m not certain why I don’t. I feel like I am being stingy. There were times when I actually felt that I didn’t want to give the compliment because if I did I would lose something. I have no idea what or why.

The definition of stingy is: unwilling to share or give. The definition of generous is giving more than is required or expected.

The more I thought about it I realized it made absolutely no sense to keep the compliment to myself. If receiving a compliment can make me feel so good then why wouldn’t I return the favor? It isn’t like I would be saying something that isn’t true, quite the contrary, I’d just be expressing something that I was thinking and not saying.

I just needed to remember the smile and the warm feeling I got every time someone reached out and made me feel noticed. That’s what made the decision to never keep a positive thought to myself easy to keep.

It has been several years since I made the decision. If I’m thinking something positive I just express it, no matter to whom or what. May I say, no one has ever complained about getting a compliment.

What you don’t realize until you do it is that giving a compliment is as wonderful as receiving one, who knew?

Every time I give a compliment I feel good! It’s that simple. So what was I afraid of?

 


This post was created prior to our site upgrade. Comments at the time of our upgrade included:


Betsy Robinson - August 8, 2018

Lovely blog, Adeline. Before I could articulate why, I've always given compliments the minute they've popped into my head. And later, when I grew up and started writing, I began sending letters to authors every time I read a book I loved. To me it feels like reciprocation--I've been given something by people, be it beauty, art, skill, etc., and giving a compliment is saying "thank you."


Adeline Olmer

Betsy, I love that you go so far as writing a letter to say thank you. I've never done that, but thanks to your suggestion I will! thanks -Adeline


Jane - August 8, 2018

Love this post! I know the feeling when I think to say something to someone but then I just don’t. I’ve no idea why I don’t want to but I will next time! The last compliment I gave was this morning actually a woman walking her dog passed me on the sidewalk and I just said, great dress! She smiled. 😀


Zoe Greenberg - August 8 2018

I totally agree. It is the nicest thing for someone to complement your hair or the new top that you’re wearing or your style. I need to remember to give that boost to others more often. Thanks for the reminder.


Adeline Olmer

I was in a store and saw a woman wearing a dress that was so bright and colorful I loved it. It wasn't run-of-the-mill, a bit daring and very summery. I felt happy just looking at her and I told her so. She grinned from ear to ear.


 



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